Appt today

Went in today to check on my progesterone levels after adding the prometrium to my menu :)  I took prometrium before I dropped the kids off at preschool and then I went straight to the Dr's after that.  I haven't felt as extremely drowsy as I did the first time I took it on Tuesday night but I still get a little loopy.  So, by the time I went in I was starting to feel it.  I was around the corner from costco so I decided after the blood draw I'd go over to costco to pick up a few things and to ride out my weird drowsiness.

The rest of the day was fine.  Got the kids from school, had them finish what was left of their lunch (which was most of it), nap time, I was still drowsy/tired from meds so I just relaxed and watched a couple episodes on hulu.... I hate moving around when I feel loopy.  I felt lazy, but it's better than bumbling around haha.

My doctor's office called me with the results and they said my estrogen and progesterone levels look good and to continue my meds as I have been.  So it looks like the prometrium is doing it's job :)  I go back on Tuesday to recheck my levels.

On another note, when I was down and out about the prometrium thing I prayed for comfort and understanding.  I was just needing a feeling of support.  The next day a friend stopped by with a sonic drink.  She had no idea what was going on.  I know it's just a sonic drink- but to me- it was reassurance that I was being looked out for.  Later that evening an old friend contacted me about her infertility journey and wishing us luck on ours.  She mentioned about reading through our old blog about all of our infertility struggles and successes and how she has found hope in that.  It seriously brought tears to my eyes because this journey has just been so crazy.  I so appreciated her contacting me.

Today was a great day.

Quick update

Took the prometrium last night and then a little while after I took my progesterone shot... and holy cow.. drowsy city!!  We'll see how that continues to go.  It better be all worth it!!

Anyways, this morning, I called conception pharmacy (where I get all fertility meds) and I needed to order new progesterone in oil shots.  The last time I ordered my month supply it was like $300 just for those.  This was back in October.  Anyways, I told the woman I was pretty sure my insurance wasn't going to cover it.  I asked if I could only order a few instead of the full month so I didn't have to pay so much money.  She ran it through insurance just incase and she said that insurance covered it and it was $10... What?? I was like.. "you're kidding!"  She even ran it through a 2nd time.  She said in October it was run through insurance but not covered so it might've changed over the new year!  I'm still in shock.  It's a tender mercy, that's for sure.

I know it wasn't like thousands of dollars saved.. but if IVF works, I'll be on the shots for a long time and that will add up very very quickly... so it could turn into over $1000 just for that but now.. if my insurance covers it... It really relieves a lot of financial stress.

God is good.  I am beyond thankful and we are beyond blessed.  Still crossing fingers! 5 days past transfer...

Transfer and other things

Friday was our transfer day!  We had to be there at 6:30am.   Instructions upon leaving home:  empty bladder, begin drinking 1st water bottle and finish at arrival, check in, start 2nd water bottle.... feel like you have to pee your pants.. haha.

Anyways, we got to the clinic and checked in.  Maybe around 7am we got called back, saw our nurse, vitals, took ibuprofen, took a valium, Jon got his fancy suit, I got the gown.. woo!  Then we headed back.  We got our pictures of our snowbabies.  Both hatching!  This is a good thing.  Transfer went really well.  I guess I don't have a whole ton of description.  The same ol same ol... Then, Dr. G said that he wanted me back in on Tuesday to check my estrogen and progesterone levels.  The last 2 FETs they didn't check me at all until the the pregnancy test.  With Alton and Ashlyn's IVF they checked me a few times before the pregnancy test.  So, it makes sense.. just hoping it will help my odds.

Today I went in for my blood test and it came back saying my estrogen levels are good but my progesterone levels aren't as high as they want them to be.  I'm already an emotional mess.  So everything is heightened and I make a big deal about stupid stuff.  It's just what happens when you are on tons of estrogen!  Ha!  Anyways, they're putting me on prometrium (pill form of progesterone) and then still do the progesterone in oil shots.  Then I'll be back on Thursday to check up on it again.  I guess I'm so upset about all of this because it starts the questions of "Am I doing the shots wrong?  What else is wrong with my body?  What can I do different?...."  See? Stressful.  Anyways...

The bedrest was good.  It was nice to see Jon with Alton and Ashlyn having fun.  Jon did so much to help and kept us together this past weekend and I'm truly thankful for his willingness to be on this crazy ride with me!  By the end of the weekend I was so done with laying on the couch.  I'm doing fine now.  No real symptoms.  Some cramping here and there (I think.. who knows...).  The two week wait is so hard.  It's just a rollercoaster.  You have no way to control anything, no way of knowing if it was successful, there are usually no symptoms during the 2ww anyways so no matter what happens- there's no way of knowing unitl the blood test.

Today after I got the news about adding the prometrium to my already large list of meds I was so down and out.  I was getting frustrated with all the little things.  For example, whenever Ashlyn got a little crazy (upset because she didn't have the right color of something) it really got under my skin more than it should have.  I had a lot of mom fails this afternoon.  I just have to pick myself up and be better tomorrow.  It's really hard not having Jon here in town.  There are just times that you need a moment to check out and tonight was one of them.

Anyways, not trying to be all depressing over here :)  It was just a rough day.  I still have hope, but man it's hard to keep hope alive after the last 2 failed FETs.  Crossing fingers!

And.... it's 2016

So much has happened.  I haven't kept up with this blog like my original intentions.  Not that surprising... Oh well.

There has just been so much that I've been keeping track of for the kids and myself.  Then Jon is traveling still every week so weekends are crazy too- trying to get in a lot of daddy time.

Super simple summary... did a 2nd FET and it failed.  I was pretty shocked to be honest.  The first one we did back in August I didn't even bother getting an at home test.  I just knew.  The 2nd time I got an at home test and I was like 90% sure that it was going to be positive.. it wasn't.. but it's not over until the beta blood test... and it was negative.

I didn't want to crawl back into my dark little hole and we didn't have a long waiting period this time around (last time we had to wait for tons of blood work and then we were going on vacation back in October...)

Anyways, we decided to do a 3rd FET.  We met with my doctor to hash everything out.  We decided that it would be best to put in 2 embryos (trust me, my heart skips a beat every time I think about it).  There's a chance that only one will take, that both will stick or none.  We decided to not test the embryos.  When we first did this- we had no reason to test them (or the extra $$$ to do it).   All the testing would tell us is if the embryo is viable- if it would even survive.  We didn't care about genetic things- if we got pregnant on our own it's not like we could really control that.. so if we had done it- it would just have been to see if the embryo was good or not.  So... there's a chance that these frozen snow babies aren't viable.  But, it's too risky to test them.  Reasons why we are choosing not to (and doctor recommended against it) A- do they survive the thaw?  B- would they survive the testing?  C- Is there any long term damage?- no one really knows that last one.

We started meds back up the day after Christmas.  I had been on birthcontrol for just a little bit- they called it a "holding period"... where I wasn't going to be on birth control for an entire cycle so that we could start everything before the new year but not have it fall during the new year because the IVF lab closes for like a week.  So... here we are... and our 3rd FET is on FRIDAY!  I'm trying to go into this with confidence and a positive head.  It's hard.  Everything in this world comes at you hard.  "Maybe I'm not supposed to pass these crazy genes of mine on."  "I already have 2 kids- why should I have more?"   The list could go on forever.

We went to the temple over the break and we have been praying about it for quite a while and we both know that the decision we've made (to do it again and to put in two embryos) is right.  Whether the outcome is what we're hoping for or not.

Bring it on Friday.  I'm coming with my lucky socks that I wore to the twin's IVF.  Didn't wear them the last 2 times... thinking I should this time :D

Shameless plug :)

Hey all!  So we've put together a t-shirt campaign for this frozen embryo transfer!  After the last failed attempt, I am now on lots of medications and some are covered by insurance but the really expensive ones are not and there aren't any generics!  Ah!  That is where this money will go towards.

In the IVF world, frozen embryos are lovingly known as "snow babies".  Please help us "catch" our snowflake baby!

Thank you all for your love and support!

https://teechip.com/catchingsnowflakes

There are men and women sizes in assorted colors :)

Well.. didn't see that coming.

So I went in on Tuesday and did my blood work and my ultrasound.  The kids were in schools so I didn't have to worry about finding anyone to help with them.

Dr. Nuredeen (she did my last hysteroscopy) did my scan.  She said my lining was really thin and my follicles were small.  She can't make the decisions on my treatment because Dr. G is my official doctor.  She said "I can see you starting- but it all depends on your bloodwork and Dr. G."  I waited all day to hear back.  Finally, at 7pm I got my message that I needed to start my meds that day!

Thankfully, I had pills and patches left over from August.  While I was at the doc's office I called the specialty pharmacy and ordered my meds for overnight shipment just in case.

It's official.. I'm a walking pharmacy this go-round.
estrace (dissolvable pill) 3x a day
estrogen patch (changed every 3 days)
lovenox (blood thinner) injection every day (uggggh!!)
Metanx - to help me absorb folic acid- 2x/day
baby asprin

and then later on... the lovely progesterone in oil.

I'm excited for the IVF part... the whole meds part totally sucks.  I don't know if I'll be able to this another time if this doesn't work.

People keep asking me "you really want another one?"  are we crazy?  I never know how to respond to that... or why I have to defend our decision.  It's a 3rd child... not a 10th.  Jon and I made this decision together.  It's going to be hard.  It's going to be a lot of work... but it's worth it.  We started talking about when the twins are grown.  They'll only have a few kids each.. that means if they only have 2 kids each.. that's only 4 grandchildren.  Then we talked about family gatherings that we have in our own families.  It's fun to have multiple siblings and having cousins to play with.  We want that for our family.

Sorry, had to get that out lol.  I'm nervous.  I hate the meds.. but I have high hopes!

Blood results and where to go from here

So, I had my monster blood test done in September and we saw Dr. G at the beginning of October.

First things first-  what we learned from the test was that Alton and Ashlyn are truly miracle babies.

When we sat down with Dr. G- the first thing he said to us was "Well, we did the blood test and we got more than we bargained for!"

Basically- I have a few genetic mutations.  MTHFR is one of them.  That's basically where my body doesn't absorb folic acid like normal people.  That's easily fixed with a supplement.  Not a really big issue.. however... with that comes something a little more serious.  I have something else where because I don't absorb the folic acid- I am prone to clotting which is most likely why the last FET/IVF failed.  If we do this again- I will take the supplement to help with folic acid and also a blood thinner (in an injection form, of course...).

At that visit I was like day 30 something into my cycle... he said to call when my cycle started.  I told him that we were going on vacation from the 18th-23rd of Oct.  He said not to worry and suggested to schedule me towards the end of the week before we were leaving to see where I was at.  So, if my cycle started I'd call before that appt and if not- that appt was already in place.  We had a plan.

I went in for my appt on the 15th.. day like 45 of my cycle... my lining was thick.  Results showed that my cycle would start within 10 days.  Great.  I was hoping that it would come later in the week so that we wouldn't miss the opportunity.  Then... Sun/Mon (18th/19th) my period started on our trip.  We were in FL!  I couldn't call them... what was the point?  I couldn't go in to be checked and I didn't have my meds and I wasn't about to have them shipped to the hotel.  I decided to just not think about it because I wanted to enjoy our vacation and not stress.

We got home on Friday the 23rd.  I could've called them when we got back into town, but I didn't.  I was still just on the fence.  Then today came and I got the nerve to call.  I told the nurse that I was fully aware that I had probably lost my window for being able to do a FET for this cycle but I was looking for advice on what to do.  Their IVF lab closes at the end of December.. so timing is important.  However, my cycle is NEVER normal.  Sometimes it comes around 28 days and sometimes it decides to take a holiday for 6 months!  This is why birth control is important for those who are going through fertility treatments.  I was assuming they'd tell me to call when my next cycle started and then they'd probably put me on birth control to get more control.  The nurse said that if my period didn't come by day 28 then I would need to call them so they could see where I was and maybe jump start it.  Marked the calendar and ended the call.

About 5 mins later I got a text saying "check your patient portal".  The nurse had talked to Dr. G and he wants me to come in tomorrow and see where I am (ultrasound and bloodwork) and see if we can start this cycle.  I'm not holding my breath.  I'm keeping my hopes low.  I will be VERY surprised if we start the meds.

Wish me luck...